My girlfriend and I have been together for about nine months and things have gotten pretty serious for us. We are talking about moving in with each other after her apartment lease ends in July. The only thing I am worried about is she isn’t going to let me bring all of my stuff into the apartment. Even though it is going to be “ours”, I know she’s going to decorate it like it’s “hers”. So that means stuff like my XBox or the awesome Spider-Man statue I have or the Walking Dead hardcovers I have aren’t going to have a place to go. Any advice would be appreciated – Don’tWantToGiveUpMyStuff
I can’t express how common it is for this situation to arise when combining belongings. It all boils down to compromise, unfortunately. I say “unfortunately” because it generally has negative connotations. Being that it ordinarily means that you have to make concessions that you’re not necessarily crazy about, but I suggest a different kind compromise.
Don’t get rid of anything that you’re attached to. Plain and simple. The pieces you’ve referenced above have a kitschy design aesthetic that potentially don’t appeal to everyone, but with some easy design modifications can be utilized in any room as a unique and stylized addition.
If your girlfriend loves you, which she clearly does, she’ll accommodate your things into her decorating decision-making process.
Maybe the Spider-Man can’t have a front and center role, but will be a perfect addition to the office? Entryway? Anywhere, really, that you both can agree on.
Your girlfriend knows you by now, and should know that XBox is important to you – I wouldn’t even give a second thought to her making you purge yourself of a video game console – maybe at the end of your gaming you just agree to store the XBox in the entertainment center? Or maybe you can just add a bow to the top and call it good? Okay, maybe not, but there’s got to be a happy medium.
This all comes back to the thing I preach the most in relationships – COMMUNICATION. Be straightforward with her BEFORE you merge belongings. Let her know there are certain things you aren’t willing to part with and shouldn’t have to, for that matter. Be gentler in your presentation than that – I wouldn’t go into the discussion taking a hardline stance – just conversational and assertive.
She’ll understand, I promise. If not, that’s an issue.
Everything you’ve mentioned seems reasonable to keep and her love for you alone should persuade her to allow you to work together to make the apartment a reflection of you both.
That’s the beauty of living together. Having a space that combines your two lives in a way that displays all facets of your personalities.
Good luck and have fun with this process. It should be fun!