Now it all makes sense. For years fans have wondered what happened to the visionary genius responsible for films like American Graffiti, Star Wars and The Empire Strikes Back. Now, the truth can be told.

Apparently, the real George Lucas has been imprisoned for many years and an impostor has taken his place. How else can one explain the later Star Wars films and the endless obsession with “improving” the original ones.

In this new video from YouTube’s own Slick Gigolo we finally have the real story from the real man himself: George Lucas. At last.

Check out the video after the break. That is, if you can handle the truth.

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Much like Dick Dastardly strapping Nell to railroad tracks once a week, George Lucas is at it again and re-releasing the complete Star Wars trilogy in theaters again, now in glorious 3D.

The last time, when Lucas released the original trilogy with “a few minor changes” like Greedo shooting first, and shoehorning Ghost Anakin into Jedi. Now that the fans have calmed down from that whole mess. Lucas feels that converting all six movies in a whole new dimension is just enough to stay topical. From THR.

Starting with “Phantom Menace,” Lucasfilm would use several higher-end conversion houses to work on the project. By late winter or early spring in 2012, the exhibition industry should have all the 3D screens anyone could want for such a release.

At present, pics are limited to 2,000-2,500 3D locations owing to an insufficient installed base of projectors and screens. Movie theaters are adding 3D screens at a clip of 500 a month in the U.S. Foreign exhibitors also are pushing into 3D as quickly as possible now that financing for the installations is flowing.

Also pushing the timetable is a potential breakthrough in 3D TV technology. With Samsung penetrating the market with 50,000-plus 3D-equipped sets and Sony recently sending its version to market, the home-viewing experience could be primed for 3D DVD versions of the films by the time the new 3D theatrical releases have run their course.

To sum up: much like he has in the past, Lucas is sacrificing what most thing consider the “holy trilogy” in order to progress modern technology. Boo for SW fans, yay for fans of entertainment technology. Expect to see the new releases mid 2012.

According to Heat Vision Blog, Mary Elizabeth Winstead (Grindhouse) and Joel Edgerton (Attack of the Clones) are set to star in the latest incarnation of The Thing, Universal’s take on “the shape-shifting alien who terrorizes a group of people in a remote facility.” Oh yeah, that one.

Winstead will play a Ph.D. candidate who joins a Norwegian research team in Antarctica after it discovers an alien ship frozen in the ice. When a trapped organism is freed and begins to kill, she is forced to team with a mercenary helicopter pilot (Edgerton) to stop the rampage. Matthijs Van Heijningen is directing the movie, which was written by Ronald D. Moore and Eric Heisserer.

Sadly, Van Heijningen has never directed a big budget feature film before, so he’s probably the best choice for this one. Yes, that was sarcasm.

The Thing has, of course, been made into a film at least twice before. The best (and best-known) of these is probably the John Carpenter version from 1982 which featured Kurt Russell as the titular “mercenary helicopter pilot.” That film was a contemporary remake of 1951′s The Thing From Another World, directed by Howard Hawks and featuring pre-Gunsmoke James Arness as the creature.

A March 15 start date in Toronto is planned with a very short theatrical run and swift trip to your local video store probably soon to follow.