Zac Effron is Jason, a 20-or-so book-cover designer living in New York with his best friend and co-worker Daniel (The Spectacular Now‘s Miles Teller) and other best friend Mikey (Michael B. Jordan). Mikey discovers his wife canoodling with the lawyer who will eventually handle their divorce, and so he and Dan and Jason make a pact to remain single. However, Jason meets Ellie (Imogen Poots), they hit it off, but he’s reluctant to tell his friends because of, you know, the pact.

And Dan meets someone. And Mikey hooks up with someone. And they keep those trysts secret, too, because, again, pact. And to go any further meet be a spoiler, but so then would be any wild stab-in-Central-Park conjecture as to what happens.

That Awkward Moment isn’t a difficult movie to review, because it’s not very good. The dialogue plays like any mid-90s attempt to imitate Pulp Fiction — which is basically sitting around a table dwelling on the minute, trying to sound clever.

Jason, for example, believes it an incredibly profound insight that, when coming from a girl, nothing good ever follows the word, “So…” as in “So, where is this going?” a phrase I’m certain was the film’s title in at least one stage of development (but then they couldn’t say “Based on the popular meme!”), and yet, who reading this has not had an awkward break in the conversation when “So…” has led to intercourse?

So many actors, so little interest.

Stand Up Guys follows a day in the life of aging mobsters Val (Al Pacino) and Doc (Christopher Walken), specifically the day after Val’s released from a 28-year stint in prison. Val’s eager to catch up on all the vices he’s been deprived of for the past nigh-30 years while Doc has until 10:00 am the next day to kill him. Add to that the inclusion of their old driver Richard (Alan Arkin), and you pretty much have the movie right there.

The idea is that much of the humor comes from the fact that they’re older guys living it up like the old days (which they note roughly several thousand times), but their conversations and adventures are so one-note and cliched that the old days must have been exceedingly dull. For example, the first 20 minutes has Val and Doc hitting up a bar. Val hits on a group of college girls and one of them throws a drink in his face. Fair enough reaction.