Late in the movie there’s a scene where a child is playing with a toy train set. As the little model ’rounds the corner, the boy pushes the accelerator, and the toy derails, crashing onto the floor. The railroad owner, who’s lodging the boy, gives him a light talking-to, “Slow it down at the curves, speed up on the straight tracks.” The boy in turn gives him a look that shouts But crashing it is the whole point! No other scene better sums up the movie.
It’s Disney. And Gore Verbinski and Jerry Bruckheimer and Johnny Depp and Hans Zimmer and all those cogs and moving pieces that make it big and loud and hard charging like the locomotives The Lone Ranger delights in crashing, plunging, derailing, and blowing up. And when it is, it’s a lot of fun. Yeah, the trailer’s given a lot away (which has, sadly, been a major problem for many summer blockbusters), but there’s a lot more that isn’t spoiled.
As for the spoilers in this review, I’ll try to keep them to the general plot. The movie opens in 1933 at a carnival in San Francisco. A tyke named Will, dressed in the garish outfit of the ’30s Lone Ranger, wanders through a makeshift museum of the Wild West, one of those galleries with big cardboard dioramas and plaques that state the obvious (“Buffalo: King of the Plains”). Munching on his carny peanuts, he stops at a display of an elderly Comanche, and the camera lingers just long enough to let you know that something’s not quite right with…
“Kemosabe?” the figure asks, and the startled boy confesses that he’s not the real mysterious masked man. The figure, again in turn, reveals that he’s the actual Tonto, and begins to recount the origin of his partnership with the Lone Ranger — beginning with the time they robbed a bank.
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