Erin’s adorableness and innocent naivete has been a bright spot all this season, but, long-standing crush aside, I didn’t think it’d be enough to carry the bulk of an episode. Fortunately, I was wrong, because “Secretary’s Day” looks behind Erin’s cheerfully upbeat child to reveal her increasingly disturbing and traumatic past—and finds comedy gold!

The episode opens with the gang huddled around Oscar’s computer to watch a Sesame Street clip of Cookie Monster redubbed with Kevin’s voice (a comparison long overdue).  Like a cruel preschool nickname, it takes off, and pretty soon the entire office is united in torturing Kevin with their best and worst Cookie Monster impersonations. (And it’s a credit to the show that the funniest part for regular viewers is not the actual clip itself but the fact that Angela loves it.)

Kevin files a complaint with the weasely new guy Gabe, who sees it as an opportunity for him to assert whatever authority he has by cracking down on the harassment (what is his position anyway? I thought he was the tech guy, too). His stern(?) warning (??) goes ignored, so Gabe tries to lower the boom (???) by suspending Jim, Pam, and Dwight without pay…which he later finds is beyond his authority(!).

I’m probably not alone in this, but the moment I saw “New Leads” listed as tonight’s episode, I was half-expecting, half-hoping for a Scrantonian send-up of Glengarry Glen Ross. Who’d be Shelly? Stanley? Or Phyllis? Would Michael perform his own version of Alec Baldwin’s monologue? Heck, Baldwin’s on 30 Rock, at the very least he could make a guest appearance…

Well, for fans of David Mamet’s Pulitzer Prize-winning play, the only resemblance is that there are new leads in, they’re gold, and the sales staff can’t have them—and it’s probably for the best because parodies are like Betty White hosting SNL bacon-wrapped Peeps: in the end, never as funny as the idea.

Also good because it would’ve weighed an otherwise very good episode down.

The titular new leads are $50,000 worth of names Sabre has spent to be doled out to the sales staff as per the corporate office’s new “Sales is king” policy.  Naturally the power’s gone to the salesmen’s heads—Phyllis refuses to answer Angela’s e-mails; Andy (while on the phone, no less) flaunts his supposed dibs to everything in the office, including Darryl’s pencil; and Dwight believes he’s in the same company as Jesus (“If sales is king, and I’m the king of sales, that makes me the King of Kings).

Well, Pam has been pregnant for nearly 9 months in “TV time”, which means that it’s time for a classic pregnancy episode! The Office returns this Thursday after NBC’s 2 week hiatus for the Winter Olympics. What better way to come back than with a one-hour baby special? From NBC:

Pam’s (Jenna Fischer) contractions begin but she and Jim (John Krasinski) are determined to wait it out as long as possible so they can have more time at the hospital. Meanwhile the rest of the office tries to distract Pam from the pain with food and entertainment.

In the second half hour, Michael (Golden Globe winner Steve Carell) anxiously waits for Pam and Jim’s baby to be born. Back at the office, Erin (Ellie Kemper) makes Andy (Ed Helms) jealous when she has lunch with Kevin (Brian Baumgartner).

We’ve got four brand new scenes from this week’s special, including some great moments, such as Andy doing the “Evolution of Dance” dance…in complete silence. Check out the clips after the jump, and be sure to catch “The Delivery Pt 1 and 2” this Thursday at 9/8C on NBC.