Not that we are in any way endorsing the reboot/remake of Total Recall but with two hot actresses now joining the cast, we have to at least mention it. So, here it is. With Colin Farrell already taking over the role originated by Arnold Schwarzenegger in the film and Bryan Cranston onboard as the evil nemesis, the next question has always been who would be playing the female leads?

Well, now we know. Kate Beckinsale has officially been cast as Lori, the bitchy wife of Douglas Quaid (Farrell) in the “real” world, while Jessica Biel will play sleazy and demure Melina, the woman he meets in his “other” life as a spy. The roles were played by Sharon Stone and Rachel Ticotin in the 1990 original.

In addition to the women, Heat Vision says Bill Nighy has landed the part of Quatto, the leader of the resistance movement. So, with Beckensale and Nighy in place that’s quite an Underworld reunion director Len Wiseman’s got going on. Oh well, he is in charge and if my wife was that hot I would probably cast her in my movies too.

I do have a question about Quatto though. Will he be a mutant and will he lead a resistance? According to reports, the new version of the story will not take place on Mars like Philip K. Dick’s original or the 1990 film.

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If you’re hearing the ominous sound of clinking spurs, hissing rattlesnakes, and squeaking saloon doors, well, you’re probably crazy. But it also means it’s  Western Wednesday, and you’re just really excited!

I’m afraid I have to be a bit of a no-good yellow cheat this week due to a previous embargo engagement with one Mr. J. W. Hex.  (He just rides into town so rarely ….) but it never hurts to visit an old favorite, especially one that’s as much fun as The Quick and the Dead.

But first, I have to take you back into a sepia-tinted time of 1995.  I was 13, and I hated Westerns. I was all about sci-fi and fantasy, and no history was interesting to me unless it was medieval and European.   Westerns were a dusty, dull genre where everyone just drank whiskey,  had silly shoot-outs, went on cattle drives,  and visited brothels.

My family rented The Quick and the Dead, and my world was rocked. This Western starred a woman — a mysterious woman with no name.  She rarely spoke, and when she did it was always snarly.  She smoked a cigar.   It was the most original character I had ever seen. If more Westerns were like this, I thought, I would like them all.

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