Not to be confused with the upcoming remake, this week’s pick is Paul Verhoeven’s classic sci-fi action film Total Recall (1990). It is based on Phillip K. Dick’s novel We Can Remember it for You Wholesale and stars Arnold Schwarzenegger as a man trying to piece together who he really is on Mars in the year 2084. Noted for his unique blend of violence, extreme sexual situations, and gore, Verhoeven pulls no stops with Total Recall.

In the film Schwarzenegger stars as Doug Quaid, an everyday guy who has nightmare visions concerning the planet Mars that for some time has been colonized by humans. Disenfranchised with his work and everyday grind, Doug decides to visit a company called Rekall that sells memory implantations that makes you feel as if you have really taken a vacation without actually going anywhere.

While at Rekall, Doug is persuaded by the manager to purchase what is referred to as an “ego trip” where you assume the role of a particular individual. Quaid is intrigued and selects the persona of a secret agent who is on a mission to save Mars.

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Woody Allen is a talented writer, director and actor. He is generally very funny, and often provides a very unique perspective that feels familiar but is undeniably his own. Now he will finally achieve the final peg for total life victory, he will play John Turturro’s pimp.

Turturro’s next project as a writer and director is Fading Gigolo, and he has been able to pull in a very impressive cast.

Variety is reporting Allen will co-star in the film with Turturro with Sharon Stone and Sofia Vergara likely to sign on in supporting roles.

Turturro and Allen [play] cash-strapped best friends who decide to go into the gigolo business together and subsequently attract the suspicion of the Hasidic Jewish community in which they live. Duo take on the pseudonyms Virgil and Bongo, with Allen pimping out Turturro’s character until he falls for a Jewish widow.

The movie sounds incredibly interesting, and pulling in Woody Allen just as an actor likely speaks volumes about script.

This will be Allen’s first project since winning this year’s Academy Award for best screenplay, for his film Midnight in Paris. Turturro has recently been seen fighting giant robots in a certain loud and explodey trilogy, so this next picture is an interesting change of pace for the both of them.

Not that we are in any way endorsing the reboot/remake of Total Recall but with two hot actresses now joining the cast, we have to at least mention it. So, here it is. With Colin Farrell already taking over the role originated by Arnold Schwarzenegger in the film and Bryan Cranston onboard as the evil nemesis, the next question has always been who would be playing the female leads?

Well, now we know. Kate Beckinsale has officially been cast as Lori, the bitchy wife of Douglas Quaid (Farrell) in the “real” world, while Jessica Biel will play sleazy and demure Melina, the woman he meets in his “other” life as a spy. The roles were played by Sharon Stone and Rachel Ticotin in the 1990 original.

In addition to the women, Heat Vision says Bill Nighy has landed the part of Quatto, the leader of the resistance movement. So, with Beckensale and Nighy in place that’s quite an Underworld reunion director Len Wiseman’s got going on. Oh well, he is in charge and if my wife was that hot I would probably cast her in my movies too.

I do have a question about Quatto though. Will he be a mutant and will he lead a resistance? According to reports, the new version of the story will not take place on Mars like Philip K. Dick’s original or the 1990 film.

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If you’re hearing the ominous sound of clinking spurs, hissing rattlesnakes, and squeaking saloon doors, well, you’re probably crazy. But it also means it’s  Western Wednesday, and you’re just really excited!

I’m afraid I have to be a bit of a no-good yellow cheat this week due to a previous embargo engagement with one Mr. J. W. Hex.  (He just rides into town so rarely ….) but it never hurts to visit an old favorite, especially one that’s as much fun as The Quick and the Dead.

But first, I have to take you back into a sepia-tinted time of 1995.  I was 13, and I hated Westerns. I was all about sci-fi and fantasy, and no history was interesting to me unless it was medieval and European.   Westerns were a dusty, dull genre where everyone just drank whiskey,  had silly shoot-outs, went on cattle drives,  and visited brothels.

My family rented The Quick and the Dead, and my world was rocked. This Western starred a woman — a mysterious woman with no name.  She rarely spoke, and when she did it was always snarly.  She smoked a cigar.   It was the most original character I had ever seen. If more Westerns were like this, I thought, I would like them all.

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