If like me, you have survived the onslaught of witty repartee between Iron Man and War Machine, time standing still in Robin Hood, and the hot mess of CGI and Jake Gyllenhaal in Prince of Persia then you are ready for what awaits you in June. Make no mistake, you may not have the monster in Manolo’s, otherwise known as Carrie Bradshaw, to suffer through but you do have a mêlée of 80’s rehashes that studios happily throw money at.

So, suit up, grab your popcorn, and prepare yourself for the next adventure that await you.

JUNE

June 4th

Ondine

Were you expecting a description of The A Team perhaps? At this point, anyone who is seeing The A Team on Friday already has their tickets, and even my words of wisdom will be unable to stop them. Instead I’ll spotlight a film that deserves attention.

Ondine is an independent film starring Colin Farrell as a fisherman who pulls up a beautiful woman in his nets. His sick, precocious daughter believes she is a Selkie, a Scottish seal who becomes a human wife on land. Time will tell if she is really as she seems.

Geekiness Factor: As a fairytale set in the modern era, it combines Splash and Heroes with a dose of romanticism and second chances. This movie works because it doesn’t use CGI, in fact the only special effects it uses comes from your very own imagination in overdrive. Its sense of wonder on faith, entrances you back to a time when you still believed in Santa Claus.

Screen Steamer: Colin Farrell has served me a heap of B movie bad boy charm in past films like The Recruit, S.W.A.T., not to mention a harmonious turn in Crazy Heart. Here he takes off his shirt only once, but seems well cast as a fisherman down on his luck and striving to be sober. Alicja Bachleda keeps you guessing as Ondine, which means “from the water.” She is alluring with a subtle sensuality in ocean soaked dresses, only coming up for air to coyly flirt with a scruffy Colin.

Welcome to this week’s On the Radar where we delve into all corners of the entertainment, tech and geek Internets for news, views and whatnot that may have escaped our regular coverage this week. Let is know if we missed something.

• Megan Fox is out of Transformers 3. Who will take her place? Heidi Montag or Ben Kingsley? Your guess is as good as ours.

• Speaking of replacing Megan Fox (only in the movie, not in our hearts) it looks like it may actually be this Victoria’s Secret model. Wonder what she had to wash to get the part?

• Patton Oswalt + Firefly + Comics = a nerdgasm the likes of which we’ve never seen.

• Who wouldn’t want to watch a video about Gwyneth Paltrow’s Shrimp Taco? There’s no further explanation necessary.

• Ever wonder what video games your favorite porn stars like to play? Well, wonder no more.

• What the hell is going on with Owen Wilson’s career? Pajiba breaks it down for us.

• NBC Exec Jeff Zucker runs a once-great network into the ground, and then gets a $30 million severance package. Ain’t life sweet?

• Finally, a comprehensive list of The Best and Worst Vampires in Film History…take that, shiny Robert Pattinson!

Welcome to this week’s On the Radar where we delve into all corners of the entertainment, tech and geek Internets. Let is know if we missed something.

• Think our own Shannon Hood was a bit hard on Sex and the City 2? Check out this review. Hint: Not flattering.

• Entertainment Weekly has released their 100 Greatest Characters of The Last 20 Years. Why Rachel from Friends is in the Top 10, we’ll never know.

• The single greatest headline in the history of news. And the world.

• Shocker! Ashton Kutcher and Katherine Heigl’s piece of crap masterpiece won’t be screened for critics.

• This is how celebrities make money in other countries. Just like Bill Murray in Lost in Translation.

• Think you look ridiculous playing Wii Fit? Say hello to the new Wii Wing Flap Game.

• Zombie Vs. Shark? Zombie Vs. Shark.

With anticipation growing for director Jimmy Hayward’s big screen adaptation of the Jonah Hex comic, you can be sure we’re gong to be seeing more and more stuff from the marketing people as the film gets closer to release. Case in point is this brand new trailer for the film, which first appeared at IGN.

The film, a supernatural western tale of revenge featuring a scarred bounty hunter with magical abilities (Josh Borlin), the prostitute who helps him (Megan Fox) and the bad guy who must be stopped (John Malkovich), looks pretty awesome. In fact, if this trailer is anything like the finished film, I think DC and Warner Bros. just might have a hit on their hands.

Jonah Hex hits theaters on June 18th. Until then, check out the new trailer after the jump.

Apparently, the reports of friction between director Michael Bay and hot actress Megan Fox are true as, according to various reports, the actress will not be returning to star in Transformers 3. The studio supposedly did not pick up her option for the third film, which starts shooting this week in Los Angeles. Although, if you believe Fox, the decision to not to appear in the film was actually her’s.

If the studio really did make the decision and Fox is just covering, then I agree it still seems like an unusual move for the studio and director Bay to make, especially as the film has just begun production. To eliminate an actress from a franchise where she plays a pretty large part and is also the love interest is somewhat risky. In addition, previous reports had indicated that writer Ehren Kruger and Bay were planning on creating a ‘female nemesis’ for Fox’s character.

I guess you can forget about that as Bay and company now plan to take the story “in another direction,” and will cast a new love interest. Perhaps said love interest will be a female bad guy? Could be interesting.

But really, the stars of any Transformers film are the robots so what actors star in the film, even though the list has impressively grown for this film with the additions of John Malkovich, Frances McDormand and Patrick Dempsey, are not as important. To be honest, you could probably replace the entire cast with new people and as long as the robots were cool, which let’s face it they are, the movie would still make a ton of money.

Transformers 3 is filming now and will hit theaters, sans Megan Fox, on July 1st 2011.

With Warner’s Jonah Hex hitting theaters in just over a month, fans have been tapping their collective feet waiting for a trailer of the film starring Josh Brolin and Megan Fox. So far, we’ve only gotten a few images of Brolin in make up and Fox in tight dresses, but it seems that we’re finally getting the goods with a new trailer.

The film, based on the DC Comic of the same name about a western vigilante who takes down baddies without mercy, has been the subject of lots of controversy since it’s production started a few years back. Crank directors Mark Neveldine and Brian Taylor were allegedly pulled off of the film mid-shoot due to “creative differences” with the studio. Jimmy Hayward, lead animator for many Pixar films such as Monster’s Inc. and Finding Nemo took over and has sole directing credit on the film.

After the controversy, and the fact that we hadn’t seen a trailer for the film yet, it was questionable if Warner would get the film out in time for it’s June release date, but with the new trailer hitting online today, we can now rest assured that they’re back on schedule.

Check out the trailer after the jump, courtesy of Yahoo! Movies, and be sure to catch Brolin and his melted face in Jonah Hex when it hits theaters on June 18th.

This week sees the release of several new movies and TV shows, some for the first time ever on Blu-ray. Of the ones coming out this week, we’re excited for a few of them in particular.

These esteemed examples of entertainment include Crazy Heart, Batman, Batman Returns, Fist of Legend, the first season of Merlin, the DVD release of the classic Battleship Potemkin and  an obscure direct t0 dvd movie called Crimes of Fashion featuring Big Bang Theory‘s Kaley Cuoco and Megan Fox. And, of course, the non-3D Blu-ray release of Avatar hits stores this Thursday (pictured above with Sam Worthington and Zoe Saldana).

Movies

Avatar ~ Sam Worthington, Zoe Saldana, Sigourney Weaver (Blu-ray and DVD)

Battleship Potemkin ~ Alexander Antonov, Vladimir Barsky (Blu-ray)

Batman ~ Michael Keaton, Jack Nicholson (Blu-ray)

Batman Returns ~ Michael Keaton, Danny DeVito, Christopher Walken (Blu-ray)

Cheech & Chong’s Hey Watch This! ~ Cheech Marin, Tommy Chong (DVD)

Crazy Heart ~ Jeff Bridges (Blu-ray and DVD)

Crimes of Fashion ~ Kaley Cuoco, Megan Fox (DVD)

This week On the Radar a bunch of gaming news about Halo and Gears of War, Red Sonja switches up celebrity hotties, Mark Strong talks Sinestro in Green Lantern and Tom Arnold takes to the sea to fight aliens!

Court dismisses Marvel, Stan Lee law suit.  Excelsior!

While Stan Lee has been working overtime on film cameos and convention appearances he’s also been dealing with legal fights.  This one was between Stan Lee Media Inc. and it’s former board members.  At it’s most basic level the case was over ownership of mainstream characters like Spider-Man, the Hulk, and Fantastic Four.

The judge dismissed the case based on two primary factors.  First, the shareholders did not acquire their shares until a year after the issue of ownership occurred and second, said shareholders should not have waited nearly a decade to file their case.  No word yet on whether the decision will be appealed so until next time true believers…

Halo movie will be happening at some point

What should be an easy sell as far as a video game adaption, Halo has struggled to gain traction with studios.  However, Frank O’Connor of Microsoft Game Studios has said the film will happen eventually:

“We’re going to make a movie when the time is right,” he said. “We own the IP. If we want to make a movie, the scale of all the other stuff that we do changes dramatically. We make tens and tens of millions of dollars on ancillary stuff, toys, apparel, music and publishing. If we do a movie all of that will grow exponentially. We have some numbers if we do a movie, but it changes everything. It also changes our target and age demographic.”

This week in New York City, the annual Toy Fair convention hits the Jacob Javits Center and thousands of new and popular toys and toy properties are shown off. There were, of course, some less-than-interesting booths, but we know what you want to see, so we went straight to the newest lines of toys and statues based on some of the upcoming movie and TV properties.

Obviously, Toy Story 3 had a huge presence at the show, given the fact that it’s the best hybrid of toys and film out there today. Tim Burton’s Alice In Wonderland had some great new figures of the whacked out Johnny Depp as the Mad Hatter. LEGO stepped up their game with some brand new LEGO Star Wars playsets, including a great “Luke on Hoth” scene.

Diamond was also in attendence with some great new Ghostbusters products, including a new Ghostbusters replica sign for those hardcore fans. Finally, there were some great new 12-inch figures for the upcoming Jonah Hex film, including our first look at John Malkovich from the film.

Check out our Movie Toys picture gallery from the show after the jump, and be sure to check back in tomorrow to see what else we’ve got to show you from this year’s Toy Fair.

I have made no secret about the fact I think both Transformers and Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen were awful.  The scripts were weak, or practically non-existent in the case of the sequel, and editing so bad it was difficult at times to see what was going. Case in point, director Michael Bay kept the fight scenes moving at rapid pace then would cut to a slow motion shot of Shau Lebouf shouting “Optimus!” or Megan Fox running away. Now, as much as I can appreciate Fox’s particular “assets” moving in slow-mo, it would have been better to slow down the scenes I was really interested in, robots fighting.

Be that as it may, I have defended Bay in the sense he knows how to appeal to the masses and can make a profitable film.  Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen took in approximately $823 million dollars worldwide and that figure is set to grow even larger based on record setting DVD sales:

“Paramount Home Video sold 7.5 million DVD/Blu-ray copies of “Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen” in its first week of release including 1.2 million Blu-ray’s, making it the year’s highest selling HD title. To put that in perspective, “Twilight” was the years biggest selling title and has sold 8 million copies since March 21st.”

If my math is correct that’s about another $150 million in the bank (using an average DVD price of $20). Not a bad week at all to be Paramount or Michael Bay. Bravo, Mr. Bay!

I may not like your take on one of my favorite childhood toys but I can’t argue with your success. You’re like the McDonalds of filmmaking. The food may not necessarily be a healthy choice, but we all keep coming back for more.