Fiona delivers a quite uninspired eulogy for Nan, and Cordelia talks with Myrtle about again trying to get rid of Fiona.  Queenie arrives with Delphine, who has been put back together.  Everyone is surprised to see the both of them, as Queenie was believed to have died during the attack at the beauty parlor, and Marie had told Queenie to burn Delphine’s head.

Hank’s father has had his men arrange it so that it is never known that Hank was the shooter at the salon.  He also wants to buy the coven off so that his company can recover.  He vows to kill the witches after he gets what he wants.

The first part of this episode is a narrative by Delphine, which ends with her having a black handyman tied up in the attic room.  She first discovered the joy of killing slaves when she first arrived in New Orleans.  She has felt unfulfilled as of late, and figures that killing again will bring her vitality back.

Zoe uses her magic to find out that Fiona and Marie killed Nan in the tub.  Madison has become jealous that Zoe fell in love with Kyle, and tries to hurt Zoe by seducing Kyle in front of her.  Kyle refuses and says he loves Zoe.  Madison is furious, and vows to take Kyle apart, since she was the one who put him together in the first place.

Back in 1833, Madame LaLaurie scares away a potential boyfriend of her daughter. Her three daughters conspire to kill her. Somehow she hears of their plan, and has them brought down to her torture basement. She killed her own daughters, and now they are part of the zombie troupe attacking the house.

Luke goes outside, thinking the zombies are kids playing a prank. Meanwhile, Marie Laveau is levitating in her spell room. A random kid that is actually dressed like a zombie is killed by the real zombies. Luke gets axed in the back, and Nan runs outside to help him. They can’t make it back inside so they hide in a car.

Of course it doesn’t last long, and the zombies attack the car. Zoe distracts the zombies with some pots and pans, and now the zombies are after her. She hides in a crypt and sees something that draws her attention. It turns out it’s a chainsaw, and Zoe goes crazy cutting zombies to pieces, allowing Nan and Luke to escape inside.

Inside, Madame LaLaurie tries to connect with one of her zombie daughters. She seems receptive at first, but then starts choking LaLaurie. The zombie ends up in Queenie’s room. Queenie tries to defeat the zombie by hurting herself and projecting it on the zombie. Finally Madame LaLaurie kills her zombie daughter, and Queenie consoles her.

In 1961 New Orleans, a black boy is chased down by some angry white local men and hung in the woods. His mother works in Marie Laveau’s hair salon. As revenge, Laveau casts a spell, reanimating the dead, and releasing them on the murderers.

Spalding is shown having a creepy tea party in his room with a bunch of dolls when he hears some screaming. This is when he comes upon Fiona killing Madison. Fiona tells him it is her duty to stay vital, and that Spalding seems so much more wise without his tongue.

Fiona hears a crash and rushes outside to find Queenie bleeding and near death. The minotaur (I’ve been incorrectly calling him a mantaur – sorry folks, too much wrestling as kid) is still in the greenhouse. We’ll find out later that Fiona beheaded the minotaur, and sends the head to Marie Laveau.

Fiona wakes up Cordelia so they can help Queenie. They are too busy arguing about Marie Laveau, and Queenie passes out. Fiona breathes some breath into her, and Queenie regains consciousness. Fiona won’t let Cordelia call 911, telling her she needs to handle everything internally. They wouldn’t want a visit from The Council.

Zoe is still at Kyle’s house, trying to figure out what to do with him. She feels terrible about what he’s become. She makes him some food, and most likely laced it with rat poison. But when she comes back, Kyle is gone. On Halloween.

Fiona has a flashback to 1971. She is the Supreme apparent to the current Supreme, Anna-Lee. Anna-Lee feels that Fiona is too young and cocky to take the throne, and if she had her way, Fiona would never become the Supreme. Anna-Lee slaps Fiona, and Fiona slices her throat, killing her. A servant witnesses the murder, and as we come back to current time, he still works there. But Fiona implies that she cut out his tongue.

Zoe goes to see Kyle’s mom, who confesses to her that she was about to hang herself when Zoe called. Zoe tells her she will see Kyle again, and leaves, intent of bringing Kyle back to his mother.

Zoe returns to Misty and Kyle to see how is coming along. His wounds have healed a great deal, and it is clear that Misty has grown attached to Kyle. When Zoe says she wants to take him to his mother, Misty gets angry, saying Kyle is not ready. But Kyle clings to Zoe, so she takes him away. Misty is crying one second, and dancing to Stevie Nicks the next.

American Horror Story is one of those shows that was a surprise to us. When we first heard about it, we weren’t really all that interested. It just seemed, well, a bit too cheesy. Then, we watched.

That’s pretty much all it took to get hooked on Ryan Murphy’s horror/drama on FX. And with each season, the show just gets better and better.

So far on the series we’ve seen ghosts and other evil spirits, an insane asylum complete with serial killers, nazis and the devil, aliens and a whole lot more. So what’s next?

Well, if this preview (and the title of the next series) is any indication, what’s next is witches. But even though that’s pretty much assured, we can bet that witches won’t be the entire story.

We can look forward to a whole bunch of twists and things that go bump in the night. American Horror Story: Coven premieres on FX in October. Check out the preview after the break.

Were you a fan of Smallville and do you miss the cast and often wonder what happened to some of your favorites like Erica Durance, who played the awesome Lois Lane in the series? Well don’t worry, Durance is still out there working hard and hasn’t given up her superhero cred either.

How do we know? Well, on this week’s episode of Harry’s Law she picks up the mantle of vigilantie justice and takes to the streets dressed as another pretty famous superhero: Wonder Woman.

Of course, we’ve got video of this momentous event to share with you today, courtesy of NBC and via the folks at TV Line. But before that, here’s some scoop on Durance’s character:

Having suffered abuse in the past, Durance’s character, Annie, takes a violent — and controversial — course of “self-therapy” in order to cope and to prevent the same thing from happening to other women.

“She’s done a couple of things and gone too far in the eyes of society,” explains Durance. “So she’s actually under a lot of fire.”

Take a look at Durance as Wonder Woman after the jump and be sure to watch the entire episode of Harry’s Law this Wednesday at 9/8C on NBC.

There’s a moment in Radio Days when a young Allen and his parents have a chance encounter with a “Whiz Kid,” one of those freakish adolescents who spend every moment of their day memorizing trivia. Allen’s parents are in awe of the kid’s diction and “intelligence” while to Allen and ourselves he comes off as a stuffy automaton.

That single scene exemplifies the theme of Midnight in Paris: (and I take this line from Tyler Cowen’s excellent summation) “if we somehow managed to meet the cultural titans of previous eras, how many of them would come across as blowhard hacks, if only because their own subsequent work has made their personae obsolete?”

The Allen surrogate is Gil Pender (Owen Wilson), an American Hollywood hack in Paris with his shrewish fiancée Inez (Rachel McAdams) and her disapproving parents John (Kurt Fuller) and Wendy (Mimi Kennedy). Gil, currently engaged in his novel, longs for the Paris of the 1920s and, after a walk one night, meets a cab that whisks him back in time to a party with F. Scott (Tom Hiddleston) and Zelda (Alison Pill) Fitzgerald.

It is remarkable to think just how long and varied of a career Woody Allen has had.  His decades long body of work has already earned him the status of a legendary filmmaker, yet that has hardly slowed him down from constantly pushing himself to be a better writer and director.  And recently, we are seeing a freshness in his work that only reaffirms his true talent as a filmmaker.

To be honest, it use to be that Woody Allen was kind of hit-or-miss.  Of course, he has his classic films like Annie Hall and Manhattan, but more recently, for every Match Point or Vicky Christina Barcelona we would find films like Whatever Works which, despite starring Larry David, seemed to fall flat and felt more like an off-Broadway play than a feature film.

Luckily, Allen seems to be on a roll recently.  Midnight in Paris is one of his films that is able to achieve that rare combination of brilliant dialogue and strong performances that we have come to know and love.

It is here that I would normally give a quick plot recap of the film to give context to the review, but I really do think this film is most enjoyable if you go in knowing nothing more than what was given in the trailer.  I know some people don’t like going into films completely blind, but I do suggest that you skip the next paragraph if you want the full experience.

It’s Monday so that means all new episodes of one of our favorite shows, Chuck, and one of our favorite new shows, The Cape. Plus, a preview of another new show, Harry’s Law, we haven’t had much time to watch yet but from what we’ve seen looks pretty good. It’s from David E. Kelly and stars Kathy Bates, so what more do you really need?

Of course, that also means we’ve got previews and other stuff to get you ready for tonight’s fun. First up on Chuck, Sarah’s old teammates return and Lou Diamond Phillips guest stars on an episode that’s sure to please fans. Oh, did we mention that Sarah’s old teammates are three hot babes who like to kick ass? Yeah.

Plus, Lou Diamond sporting a goatee for the ladies. What more could you want? Something for everyone, right?

Then, The Cape goes supernatural as an old killer threatens Orwell and the entire city. I’ll bet you can guess that The Cape doesn’t like that very much. Plus, Summer Glau is, as always, a delight. Check out some behind the scenes action for this episode.

And, finally, Harry risks disbarment when she refuses to stand up for a guilty defendant on tonight’s Harry’s Law. Oh that Harry, always getting into trouble and bucking the system. Let’s hope she doesn’t have a sledge hammer or anything. That could get messy.

All the Monday action starts at 8/7C tonight with Chuck. Check out all the previews and such after the jump.

Well played, Office.

I don’t care if there’s not a single funny moment for the rest of the season, you guys get a pass for the not only the best premiere opener, but the best Office opener period. Seriously, I rewatched it before it was over the first time. Not sure how long it took to film, but the sight of Gabe doing the Charleston, Creed rocking out, and Erin going nuts in the background all in a single, unbroken shot was worth it.

As the season officially begins, it’s revealed that over the summer Corporate Weasal Gabe (that sounds like something from a rejected line of bobbleheads) has stolen Erin “I-wouldn’t-have-gone-on-that-first-date-were-he-not-my-boss-and-I’d-have-to” Hannon; Dwight bought the building; Kelly took a correspondence course from Yale; and the office has hired an obnoxious assistant named Luke who can’t properly get the coffee…and also happens to be Michael’s nephew.

Luke sucks at pretty much everything he does, from forgetting to mail customers account-sensitive information to giving the staff shoddy nicknames (Andy: “I am not the Nard Man, I am the Nard Dog. The Nard Man is my father”). Luke’s sent on an ice-cream run while the rest of the gang is dragged into the boardroom by Michael, who tells them to lay off before revealing the fact that he and Luke are (not really surprisingly) related.