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My girlfriend and I have been together for a few months and everything has been going good. She always asks me if there is anything I “Want to try”. I know it sounds cliche but I want to have her dress up as Slave Leia for me. How do I make this happen without coming across as weird or creepy? – HanNotSolo
Okay, ﬁrst thing ﬁrst: It isnʼt weird OR creepy to want to role-play and use costumes in an intimate relationship, especially one that is comfortable and going really well overall. In fact, itʼs completely normal. Sex in a healthy relationship should be about exploration.
The good news is that by presenting the question to you it seems as if sheʼs already alluding to the fact that sheʼd like to introduce variety, but it seems as if she either doesnʼt have any concrete ideas of her own or just doesnʼt know how to get the proverbial ball rolling.
So, here are a few tips to help spice up your love life. These are easy rules to follow AND are applicable to more than just a role-playing fantasy.
1.) Communication is paramount in a sexual relationship. You canʼt have what you wonʼt ask for, so ASK!
Generally Iʼd say that if you broach the subject of a sexual fantasy in a genuine way, it will most likely turn out in your favor. Who can say no to those puppy dog eyes, right? Honestly though, you never know until you ask – she might have similar ideas – but just doesnʼt know how to suggest them to you!
BUT if youʼre the quiet, actions-speak-louder-than-words type then maybe using a segue move is more your speed.
2.) Segue moves can make it inﬁnitely easier to dish to your lover your deepest sexual desires.
PORN is always a great segue tool. Trust me. Itʼs a great way to open dialogue between couples who seem stuck in a rut OR are still too new to the relationship to feel overwhelmingly comfortable spilling their deepest sexual desires. Iʼd suggest each person choose a video youʼre into and watch them together.
Because Slave Leia is what youʼre after – Iʼd recommend www.apetube.com because it has an abundance of costume porn, and by choosing something similar to what youʼre seeking you can use the costume-porn as a natural transition to divulge to your lover that youʼd love to see her dressed up like that too.
If porn seems too forward for you, there would always be the option of just watching Star Wars and once Princess Leia enters the scene just causally mention your that sheʼd make a HOT Princess Leia – slave style. The one downfall to this speciﬁc approach is that because it is subtle she can take it as a causal comment and it could potentially never come to fruition.
3.) Itʼs all about semantics – youʼre essentially presenting your case – and you want a favorable outcome.
What can I say, you ask? Try posing the sexual fantasy in a way that seems like youʼve really taken into consideration what she wants and needs, too. Complimentary approaches work well, but you have to ensure it doesnʼt come across as false ﬂattery. Be genuine.
As with all presentations, itʼs important to take your audience into consideration. You need to know how your girl responds to different approaches and amend your strategy accordingly. Be direct, yet casual. Donʼt become defensive if she doesnʼt immediately latch onto the idea – just plant the seed. Keep it short. And ENSURE you ask her what her sexual fantasies are, too, she could surprise you. Who knows, she might have a Slave Leia costume tucked away for just such an occasion.
At the end of the day, donʼt over think it. These are just suggestions. And whatʼs the WORST thing that can happen? She says no? She isnʼt donning Slave Leia apparel right now anyway, so not much will change.
MAY THE FORCE BE WITH YOU. Too cliche? Deﬁnitely. Oh well, Iʼve embraced it. Let me know how it all works out, Han.