For The Love of the Game - Issue #5: "Call of Booty?"

For The Love of the Game – Issue #5: “Call of Booty?”


So I think my boyfriend and I are a bit of a slump. We’ve been together for a year and things just aren’t what they were. We used to go out every weekend or at least stay over each others’ apartments but now I feel like he’d rather hang out with his friends and play Call of Duty than do anything with me. I really care about him and he tells me that he cares about me but I want to solve this but don’t want to come across as all needy, ya know? – 2ndtoCoD

It’s normal for relationships to wax and wane, but empty professions of strong amorous feelings aren’t enough to propel a relationship forward.

It isn‘t needy to want to spend time with your significant other. Right now he’s not being an available partner – physically or emotionally – which is what relationships are all about.

His actions are speaking louder than words – cliche, yes, but true – and while I’d never suggest giving him an ultimatum, I would absolutely suggest voicing your concerns in a way that he can hear them.

Complaining or nagging someone to get them to change their ways – even though you might not be consciously doing it – can have the opposite effect.

You never want to approach a discussion with a “you” statement. Own your feelings. An “I” statement disarms any defensiveness and encourages dialogue.

If it doesn’t – that’s a problem.

An “I” statement looks like this:

“I feel like you’ve been distant lately, and I really miss spending time with you.”

Instead of this:

“You’ve been spending too much time playing Call of Duty and you only care about your friends. You never have time for me.”

It’s a small change that has an infinitely better delivery and is more prone to facilitate you getting your needs met.

It might behoove you to create a date night. If it’s incorporated into the schedule, you’ll get your time and he’ll still be able to get his COD fix. Win:Win. It accommodates both of your needs.

If things don’t change, ultimately it comes down to whether your feelings for this guy trump your need for quality time and companionship.

Good Luck!

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