Lois Lane is No Flight of Fancy

Inundated by a flurry of commercials blasting the latest nerd boy fantasy, She’s Out of Your League, I’m reminded of another story about an awkward boy and a stunning, but much sharper girl. In this story a nerd manages to sweep the woman of his dreams off her feet, but not without a lot of effort and some spiffy tights.

This betty mischievously quips with her small-town colleague and brazenly flirts with the hottest jock in the universe. This woman is Lois Lane.

The dorky boy gets the girl films are just as abundant as the beautiful, yet clumsy girl who gets her knight in shiny armor tales. They’re just fairytales dressed up for adults with a bunch of sex-talk for the guys and thinly veiled attraction in the form of snippy repartee for the ladies. How do you make two lovers out of enemies? Watch The Bounty Hunter, 10 Things I Hate About You, You‘ve Got Mail, or pretty much any movie with Meg Ryan in it.

Lois and Clark’s relationship is fascinating because it’s a mix of both of these fairytales. Clark is a straight arrow boy scout if there ever was one and Lois doesn’t mind bending the rules at her leisure. They quip constantly on the sidelines, but run plays seamlessly during the big game. Over time these bff’s have flown over their stereotypical scenario to become a team to be reckoned with.

After doing some investigative work, I found Lois was a combination of several women. In turns out Jerry Siegel wishes he had the super powers needed to impress a girl he crushed on in high school, Joe Shuster fell for the model he based Lois‘ look on, and Siegel based Lois’ personality on Torchy Blane, a reporter from 30‘s flicks. Lois might have come out of a nerdy fantasy, but this doll wasn’t just another Top Model.

She’s a Hepburn who gleefully spars with Tracy, Clark, Perry, Jimmy, Lex, or whoever else might be in the bullpen. These creators were ahead of their time in crafting a woman who wasn’t a secretary (cough…Diana Prince…cough) and instead was Clark’s equal in and out of the office.

Lois doesn’t have the benefit of donning a mask when unearthing villainous plots, and yet she’s fearless. She’s not just a love interest, she’s a woman on a mission to bring truth and justice to the world by using the mighty pen.

I’m sure Clark’s reasoning is sound that telling her the truth about his dual life would put her in jeopardy. I mean it’s not like Lois is ever in trouble, kidnapped by crazy criminals, or threatened with death by maniacal madmen. If she barely has a scrape on her after enduring whatever wackiness ensues every week, Smallville should give her the benefit of the doubt.

Many have made the argument that Batman’s mask is really Bruce Wayne and Clark Kent’s mask is Superman. Then again, it’s not like Clark needs glasses, help opening a can of spinach, or is totally clutzy. He fakes it to bolster his “secret identity“. If she’s going to have a boyfriend who’s flighty at best, shouldn’t she be able to see the whole shebang before making up her mind?

Go figure, my favorite comic book character of all time doesn’t need superpowers to get the job done. Lois Lane is spunky, direct, career-driven, sarcastic, independent, and all woman.  What’s not to love?  Only a Superman could keep up with her. Without missing a beat or a byline, she uses her dangerous adventures to fill the front page. After a long day at the office, who wouldn’t want to come home to a man who’s striking even in spandex?

With Mr. “I’m so dark and edgy” Christopher Nolan himself elected to be the next mayor of Metropolis, it’s only fitting a new actress be tossed on the ballot. A gorgeous woman that reads smarts, strength, and snarkiness right off the bat is hard to find. Just ask the Millionaire Matchmaker.

I compiled a list of many women who could fill her shoes, like Kate Hudson, Amanda Peet, and Isla Fisher. Their outgoing, bubbly personalities were more in tune with Mary Jane’s Watsons‘, so I nixed them. No, Lois needs to have street smarts doused with cynic humor and a resolute spirit to bring the truth to light. My picks flew to Anne Hathaway, Eva Mendes, Jennifer Garner, Yvonne Strahovski, Elizabeth Banks, or even Emma Stone as having the needed gumption.

But these are some really rare Jimmy Choo’s to fill. So, I open it up to the comments section below to come up with brighter choices. Go ahead, find that woman who will look an Adonis in red spandex underwear up and down without so much as a flinch. Go ahead, I dare ya.