Op-Ed: NFL Bans Shredder and Bane Face Masks So Screw Them

NFL Ban

You know what NFL? You’ve lost me forever. I never cared about your “sport” anyway. I sort of cared about Madden because it at least helped sell video game systems during the holiday seasons. But now, you’ve gone too far. Yesterday, the NFL announced they’d be banning “nonstandard/overbuilt” facemasks.

This includes Oakland Raiders defensive end Justin Tuck’s mask that resembled that of Shredder from the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. Now I don’t know who that is but damn them for not allowing a Shredder mask. They have also announced that the similar Bane styled masks will also be a part of this ban.

Now what is funny is the reason for the ban: because they don’t live up to NFL safety standards. The group of gargantuan men who are doing everything they can to throw their body weight on top of each other as fast as possible is worried about safety? Meanwhile hockey lets people play with a rubber puck flying at their face with no protection. Makes a lot of sense.

Well now I have given up on ever giving football a shot. The best chance they have is stepping their game up and creating a hybrid of the XFL and whatever the heck futuristic version of the game that they play in Starship Troopers and when they do it’s Team Shredder vs. Team Bane vs. Team Casey Jones vs. Team Mysterio.

Until then, I say “Good day” to the NFL.

About John Carle

The Definition of “Geek Chic.” Comic books, sci-fi movies, Buffy: The Vampire Slayer, Xbox 360, Nintendo DS, Lord of the Rings and more all rolled up in a Diesel wearing, club going socialite package. Having worked in both advertising and television, John is a lifetime writer always being a part of the creative process. John knows the television world between his experience on being involved with the production process of over two hundred episodes of prime time tv and being a self admitted media whore. Yes he has a weakness for trash tv, Michael Bay-esque action movies and the raunchy teen comedy as well. Never try to debate the Original Star Wars Trilogy versus Star Trek with him because the Holy Trilogy always comes out on top. Having partied with movie stars to Playboy centerfolds, John is somehow always able to find someone’s inner geek. The simplest rules that John lives by is to have fun and doing what makes him happy. There’s no shame in being a geek. Play Halo, read Spider-Man and proudly display the whole series of Neon Genesis: Evangelion on your DVD rack. And most importantly, make sure to read his weekly comic book pull list reviews at The Flickcast.
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