The Vampire’s Assistant is based on the first three books in a series of twelve by Darren Shan. Like the Twilight series, The Vampire’s Assistant books are targeted towards young adults, and naturally this movie is as well. If you are not a tweener, or a fan of the book series, it is best to steer clear of this painfully bland adaptation. The movie seems entirely too self-aware of its target audience, and consequently it takes the safe route at every turn throughout the film. This results in a rather boring final product, despite some bright spots.
Darren (Chris Massoglia) and his friend Steve (Josh Hutcherson) sneak out one night to attend a freak show in their area. Ringmaster Mr. Tall (Ken Watanabe) introduces a plethora of captivating creatures, including a snake boy (Patrick Fugit of Almost Famous), a woman capable of spontaneously regenerating lobbed off limbs (30 Rock’s Jane Krakowski), a bearded lady/psychic (Salma Hayek), and a girl with freakishly large teeth (Kristen Schaal), amongst others.
The opening scene featuring the freak show was my favorite part of the movie. It aptly portrays the shock, excitement and disgust that two young boys would feel the first time viewing such an event. It also had some very cool makeup/CGI effects. Having been a fan of the original Freaks (1932) I tend to delight in this subject matter, and I was not disappointed.
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