Wolvie’s Wild Women

I’d just like to begin this review by pointing out that close to 50% of the audience for the latest Wolverine film was women. Yes….women. Why may you ask? Was it because of the brilliant action scenes in which Wolvie slowly walked away from an explosion that would normally kill a human being very quickly? No.

Was it because adding a fan-favorite character like Cyclops, who in the normal Marvel-verse would not have been born yet, but due to the need to add as many discernible characters as possible was thrown into the mix? No.

The answer is Hugh Jackman looks damn fine without his shirt on and women crave a alpha male who can kill any of your ex-boyfriends lickety-split but would rather spend time by the fire listening to your day. What does this all have to do with Wolverine Weapon X #10 you ask?

The answer (the final answer) is Marvel every once in awhile sticks behind their writers and their crazy hatched plans to write an issue about…..oh no….gasp…characterization and relationships.

Yes, it might sound boring to the average male, but to the average female, I say Frak Yeah! I don’t know about you but I always looked forward to the X-Men issues where everyone would play baseball, Gambit would try to smooch Rogue (did not end well), or everyone would go down to Harry’s Hideaway to chill. Awwww…. The good ole days.

For the past few years, Wolvie has used more stealthy ninja moves to get out the door after a night of bliss than the Hand uses in a month. Granted the past few years for him is decades in our book, but still. He’s had a few girlfriends, yes, but an honest-to-god relationship since Mariko? Not so much.

It was kinda hard for him to get over the fact that his innocent fiance Mariko was “killed” by his blades. Yeah, I’m sure her family’s huge amount of gang ties had nothing to do with it. Way to pick them. Which brings me to this issue.

Jason Aaron alluded early on that spunky reporter Melita might find her way into Wolvie’s broken heart. A heart he’s been trying to heal with every floozy he might see and a few aliens. So, I’ll give it to Jason for writing a women who can finally put up with him.

Granted, Wolvie gets props in the bad-ass and hilarious category for getting it on behind a burning car during a battle with the Brotherhood of Evil Mutants, but would you really want to date him? His epic fail of a dating life is hammered home by his gal pals at every turn. Storm is stunned that he would actually give up pointless sex with Yukio, who looks a lot like Angie’s former GF btw.

Rogue just listens patiently as the ole’ Canucklehead comes to a realization that all that sex he’s been having with one women might equal a relationship. The Black Widow sensibly tells him to subtly slip her a tracking device. Jubes, who looks like she’s 14, thanks C.P. Smith, tells it like it is, and so on and so forth.

Then Logan takes Melita on a date she will never forget….to his dead fiance’s grave. I was wondering why Logan hasn’t had many girlfriends. Going to any grave sight is a major downer and yet Melita’s character comes through and she rebuffs all doubts he might have. Dude, Melita deserves to stick around, but maybe she should jump in a gamma-radiated vat of super strength just to give her a better chance of survival.

I mean when was the last time Wolvie investigated trouble with a spirited, educated woman who refused to give up on him? Oh yeah, she goes by the name of Cassie Lathrop. Who, miraculously is still alive, but we haven’t heard from since Logan left her after receiving all the comfort he needed in a night.

I also kept waiting for a mention of “Ace” aka Carol Danvers, but to no avail. Mighty Ms. Marvel and Logan go way back- they even had a relationship and she remains his friend. Amazing to be sure. Maybe Melita should be getting a few pointers from her.

In any case, I’m overjoyed Marvel and Jason had the gumption to put out an issue that spoke more of who Wolvie is than all the issues of Wolverine Origins combined. Congrats.

The art was quite good if you go for that dark, noir style, reminiscent of say the Wolverine Noir series. I loved the block painting like cherry blossoms of Japan, even though Nation X seemed like a grungy piece of rust. Piece of advice Logan– next time stay at Melita’s.

So in ending this very long commentary, I’d like to give one more merry memo to the boys at Marvel– more panels of a certain Canadian without his shirt on are greatly enjoyed, but more panels where a certain Canadian realizes he can actually have a relationship with a woman that he plays and talks with is even better.