It’s Jurassic Park.

I still have my toy T-Rex from 1993 — and it still roars! I know pretty much all of Jeff Goldblum’s lines by heart and am working my way through memorizing Wayne Knight’s. I, like many others, am still pissed that Muldoon gets treated the way he does.

Jurassic Park was the first “big” movie (well, outside of Tim Burton’s Batman) that I saw in theaters. I was too young for Return of the Jedi and Indiana Jones, and I remember being at summer camp, talking to my parents on the one phone in the whole place, outside the administration center, hearing my mom and dad describe how amazing it was. Those damn three weeks couldn’t be over soon enough for me to get to the theater.

So it’s a personal, nostalgic favorite.

Unless you’ve been living in a bathtub eating spaghetti for the last 20 years, you already know the plot: eccentric billionaire John Hammond (Richard Attenborough) has discovered a way to clone dinosaurs. There’s an accident, and his investors are concerned about the safety of the park, so Hammond invites paleontologists Alan Grant (Sam Neill) and Ellie Satler (Laura Dern), as well as even-more eccentric chaotician Ian Malcolm (Jeff Goldblum) for a weekend stay. They discuss the philosophy of creating such a place, some kids show up, the dinos get loose and so does all hell.

Now it’s been converted to 3D, and pretty damn well.

I had a soft spot for 2009’s G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra, and I have a soft spot for this, even with its flaws. If you remember the end of the last film (and never mind if you didn’t), Zartan is impersonating the President of the United States in one step of Cobra Commander’s grand plan for world domination.

I think this is supposed to take place right after the last film, but no matter. All you need to know is that the President is not the real President, and the Joes are not aware of it. They’re busy raiding a nuclear arms facility in Pakistan — a mission devised by Zartan (Arnold Vosloo/Jonathan Pryce) to wipe out the Joes when they call for transport after the mission.

All of them, save for Lady Jaye (Adrianne Palicki), Roadblock (The Rock), and Flint (D.J. Cotrona) are killed. Fortunately Snake Eyes (Ray Park) is away on another mission training with Jinx (Elodie Yung) and quite possibly the worst actor in the entire film, RZA as the aptly named Blind Master.

We like to stay on our A-Game when it comes to new films hitting theaters and what to expect from studios on a regular basis. Then a trailer for a film like G.I. Joe: Retaliation hits the web and completely takes us by surprise.

The film picks up the hints from the first film, in which Zartan infiltrates the White House. Remember that? Neither do we. It seems that Paramount, however, does. Here’s the premise to the new film.

Little has been revealed about the plot other than that it will feature the G.I. Joe Team coming into a conflict with Zartan, Storm Shadow and Firefly. Zartan (who is last seen in disguise as the President of the United States) has now got the world leaders all under his thumb, warheads headed towards innocent populaces, and some new heavies on the payroll to keep G.I. Joe at bay.

This time around, we’re getting some new old characters to join the fight, such as Dwayne Johnson as Roadblock, Ray Stevenson as Firefly, and Adrienne Palicki as Lady Jaye. Oh, did we mention that Bruce Willis shows up as John Colton? Yea, we’re as confused as you are.

Take a look at the trailer after the jump, and catch the film in theaters on June 29th.