Machete Kills plays like a late Roger-Moore era Bond film — and not just because there’s a lot of visual cues and ideas taken from Moonraker — the action and the humor are constantly fighting for dominance, and the humor, regardless of whether it’s appropriate or not, makes sense within the context of the scene or not, hell, is funny or not, usually wins out. Though, to be fair, the plot of Machete Kills is a lot easier to follow than the plot of Octopussy.

Machete (Danny Trejo), in case you didn’t see the first film…or the trailer on which it was based, is an ex-Federale-turned-spy-or-something-like-that-but-all-around-badass, seemingly indestructible and legendary throughout Mexico. His latest “case” has him busting up a gun-running ring, apparently sponsored by the U.S. Army, and distributed to the Mexican cartel. Gun fights, explosions, dramatic standoff music, and hell ensues. Machete is somehow the only survivor when the cops show up, and by the next scene we’re in the local sheriff’s office and Machete is swinging from the ceiling with a noose around his neck. And then the President calls.

And the President is…Charlie Sheen. Naturally. He needs Machete to hunt down and kill Mendez (Damian Bichir), a nutty terrorist with a vendetta against the cartel who’s moved on to threatening the U.S. with a nuclear device. The catch is that once Machete finds him, Mendez reveals that the trigger for the bomb is tied to his heartbeat, so once he dies, boom. And he’s also put a hit out on himself that everyone in Mexico is trying to cash in on.

Yes, Machete Kills is pretty much what you expect. Still, that doesn’t mean it isn’t fun and worth a look. In fact, that’s just what we can give you with the new trailer for Machete Kills.

Here’s some info about the movie:

“In MACHETE KILLS, Danny Trejo returns as ex-Federale agent MACHETE, who is recruited by the President of the United States for a mission which would be impossible for any mortal man – he must take down a madman revolutionary and an eccentric billionaire arms dealer who has hatched a plan to spread war and anarchy.”

Machete Kills will be in theaters everywhere September 13th. Check out the new trailer after the break.

I’m probably going to see better comedies this year, but I don’t think I’m going to laugh at any one as much as I did at The Three Stooges. When I told that to my editors, they both wrote back in disbelief. I know the trailer got a massive amount of flack—the appearance of Snooki was a major criticism—but I’m not alone in my appreciation of the film. My colleague at SlashFilm, Jordan Hoffman, recently shared his like.

And it’s the Farrellys; after nearly 20 years of their films, have we learned to not underestimate them yet? Whatever. The movie is funny, very, very funny and, as Ebert noted in his review, is as good a film that could have been made about The Three Stooges. If you don’t like the original shorts, you probably won’t like it, but if you do, I think you’ll laugh a lot, because the Farrellys stay close to the source.

The plot is as shallow as any of the original shorts—the boys try to raise $830,000 to save an orphanage, getting caught up in several hair-brained, money-making schemes. That’s pretty much it. Of course one of those schemes involves an unwitting assassination, and Moe somehow ends up as the star of Jersey Shore; there’s Larry David as a put-upon nun (with a very pronounced New Jersey accent) and Jane Lynch as Mother Superior; a subplot involving an angry lion at the zoo and a sick kid at the orphanage.

Woody Allen is a talented writer, director and actor. He is generally very funny, and often provides a very unique perspective that feels familiar but is undeniably his own. Now he will finally achieve the final peg for total life victory, he will play John Turturro’s pimp.

Turturro’s next project as a writer and director is Fading Gigolo, and he has been able to pull in a very impressive cast.

Variety is reporting Allen will co-star in the film with Turturro with Sharon Stone and Sofia Vergara likely to sign on in supporting roles.

Turturro and Allen [play] cash-strapped best friends who decide to go into the gigolo business together and subsequently attract the suspicion of the Hasidic Jewish community in which they live. Duo take on the pseudonyms Virgil and Bongo, with Allen pimping out Turturro’s character until he falls for a Jewish widow.

The movie sounds incredibly interesting, and pulling in Woody Allen just as an actor likely speaks volumes about script.

This will be Allen’s first project since winning this year’s Academy Award for best screenplay, for his film Midnight in Paris. Turturro has recently been seen fighting giant robots in a certain loud and explodey trilogy, so this next picture is an interesting change of pace for the both of them.

Fans of the original slapstick trio The Three Stooges were hoping, beyond hope, that when the upcoming rebooted film hit casting troubles when actors like Jim Carrey, Benicio del Toro and Sean Penn dropped out, that the production would get buried and never see the light of day. They were wrong.

The film proceeded forward and was made. Now, the first trailer for the upcoming Three Stooges film from The Farrelly Brothers has stumbled onto the web with the cast of Sean Hayes, Will Sasso, and Chris Diamantopoulos as the titular Stooges.

Before you start to defend the film by saying how good There’s Something About Mary was, remember that film is over 12 years old, and these are the same guys that brought us The Heartbreak Kid.

The trailer pretty much speaks for itself, as it features tons of C-list stars and 2 prominent cast members of Jersey Shore. Take a look at the unfortunate trailer after the jump and catch (or don’t) Three Stooges in theaters on April 13th.

As good as the movie was, 2003’s Love Actually had no idea what it was starting in the form of romantic comedies featuring a super ensemble cast. It was brought to the (more) public eye last year with Garry Marshall’s Valentine’s Day and now the ante is only getting upped with New Year’s Eve.

The film’s premise is relatively straightforward, but its the cast that really sells it.

“New Year’s Eve” celebrates love, hope, forgiveness, second chances and fresh starts, in intertwining stories told amidst the pulse and promise of New York City on the most dazzling night of the year.

Are you ready for a cast list to be reckoned with? Take a breath, because you’re looking at seeing Halle Berry, Jessica Biel, Jon Bon Jovi, Abigail Breslin, Chris “Ludacris” Bridges, Robert De Niro, Josh Duhamel, Zac Efron, Hector Elizondo, Katherine Heigl, Ashton Kutcher, Seth Meyers, Lea Michele, Sarah Jessica Parker, Michelle Pfeiffer, Til Schweiger, Hilary Swank, and Modern Family’s Sofia Vergara join the cast of New Year’s Eve.

How the film isn’t going to be 12 hours long, we have no idea. Instead, you can check out the brand new trailer for the film after the jump. New Year’s Eve is set to hit theaters on December 9th.

Welcome to this week’s On the Radar where we delve into all corners of the entertainment, tech and geek Internets for news, views and whatnot that may have escaped our regular coverage this week. Let is know if we missed something interesting. Otherwise, on to the links!

• Looking forward to Harry Potter? Then you’re going to love Harry Potter and the Hogwarts Hangover.

• Who doesn’t love a good supercut? Here’s one of every Arnold Schwarzenegger scream from every Arnold Schwarzenegger film. Enjoy!

• Too much time on her hands: A British artist put together an Avatar mosaic out of Blu-Ray discs. What a waste.

• The world may have seen it’s fill of white rappers, but what about Klingon rappers?

• If you’re a fan of Modern Family’s Sofia Vergara, then you probably love two particular parts. . . of her personality. Here’s a collection of animated GIFs showing them off.